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Posts tagged “Colombia

Sweating My Way To Contentment

All night I sweated like a pork sausage in a condom in an oven in a Caribbean rainy season.

Finally, at 1am, tormented by Cartagena’s heat, I stood under my shower – the water like a boiled kettle atop my skull.

I’ll be tired for class tomorrow I guess. I lay sprawled under my bed with my fan so close it was like a cat purring, curled on my chest. A slight reprieve until my skin dried. Not quite enough to sleep.

Polish journalist and author Ryszard Kapuściński nailed this feeling in his description of Africa:

“I was dripping with sweat, but others, too, were drenched – sweat prevented you from being incinerated on the summer’s blazing pyre.”

I woke in the morning to a small miracle. The sun was not out. I was immediately distrustful…. probably it is still night, my sleepy brain thought.

Deliciously however, it was 6:30am and raining lightly. I stood on the top floor balcony and looked out across my street. This was a nicer street than where I’d been living – it was considered middle class in Cartagena.

The roofs however were corrugated iron sheets and the powerlines linked to the homes in a dizzying entanglement of black against the drizzly sky.

A creek ran perpendicular to my street and was adorned on both banks with garbage. Once I saw an iguana beneath the bridge there. Skin like hard-boiled leather, green and huge and regal.

“Sorry about your home,” I whispered to him. “Humans are stupid.”

You couldn’t really walk alongside the creek alone because you might get robbed. You had to cut through the suburb and then cut back to the creek simply to cross the footbridge over it. There were a couple of elder gents who took turns sitting on the bridge with a collection tin marked ‘bridge security.’ You could pay them a coin for their efforts. They also sold iceblocks, hedging their bets.

Like usual in the tropics, the sun bit off the head of that delicious fresh morning after about 30 minutes, and resumed its ruthless governance of the sky.

The blind dog and I sat together outside for breakfast. The ideal companion while your brain swims sleepily into the consciousness of day is a dog. It will simply greet you warmly and then shut up. Not like those chirpy morning people who sap your energy before you have cultivated it.

I looked around. Mosquitoes were waking from their potplant nests and shouting at each other that a human (AKA breakfast) and a blind dog were stupidly waiting to be molested.

The baby’s pants, like tiny flags of humanity hung in rows above our heads. The avocado vender bellowed his wares through his megaphone, the wooden wheels of his cart pushing through the streets, his brow and lip beaded as always with pearls of sweat.

The coconut palm in my neighbour’s yard waved lazily in a rare breeze and children, those being who wake with the sun, were already shouting in their street baseball match – snatched moments before their mums wetted and brushed their rebellious curls and marched them off to school.

The Caribbean was waking up.

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Buenos dias Cartagena

Buenos dias Cartagena

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A passenger jet cut across the sky overhead, a reminder I would be on one in just two months. I pushed the thought out of my head. I could easily live here another two years.

What to teach today.

My 1pm class had at least nine very bright students who wanted to learn English – a true blessing for an English teacher in a Latino country. My 4pm class had around the same.

The problem lay with those who didn’t try. The thing about a language is if you chill, process what has been said to you and implement an ounce of cognitive reasoning it is possible to learn.

Some students however throw up a roadblock in their brains.

“That isn’t Spanish!” yells their brain in a panic.
“We can’t understand that.”

Others watch my actions, think about it and hazard a guess.

Hey you! Do you speak English?

Hey you! Do you speak English?

Yesterday one of my favourite students was leaving school as I arrived.
“¿A dónde vas?” I asked him.

His English was not good but he always showed up, participated and was respectful. And he had a cracking sense of humour, which I loved.

In Spanish he explained his cousin was killed in a gang shoot-out in Turbaco, a small town about an hour out of Cartagena. The funeral service was in an hour and Turbaco was an hour’s bus ride away.

Well what the hell do you say to that? I excused him from my class.

When something awful happens here the journalists print pictures of it.

I am not talking pictures depicting it; I am talking pictures of it.

When I worked at a newspaper in Australia there were many car crash fatalities. They were often avoidable. As I stood speaking with the police officer beside what was once a person or a car, my heart grieved at the pointlessness, the waste of human life.

I would print a picture of the mangled wreck of the car in hopes it would jolt people into the realisation that sending a text or overtaking with barely enough space can end like this – twisted metal and burnt flesh.

In Cartagena however the pictures are of the dead. A widow, roadside, crying over the body of her husband as he lies beside his crumpled motorbike. Red blood gone black on the bitumen.

A teenager with his skull opened in a machete fight, the contents of that skull spilled out and printed right there, in colour, on the front page of all three local newspapers.

The thing about this information is you cannot judge it through western eyes until you have lived here. Here life is cheaper, simply because there are less rules, less means of safety. People take motorbike taxis because they are half the price of taxi cars. Unless you plan to fly to Colombia and cover the difference you cannot judge the safety measures here.

For around 240 days I have been living here, and for about 200 of those days I have caught moto-taxis. I have had around 5 close calls, where my heart flew into my mouth and I thought, well, at least I got to live my dream before I died.

Fingers crossed I make it through two more months of these rides. I have already seen three who didn’t.

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And yet there is a joy here.

When you ask a Colombian how they are, they will very often reply without hesitation “Excelente!”

This never fails to buoy my spirits. These are the people I talk to every day. Street vendors, taxi or moto drivers, fellow professors or housewives sweeping the fat green leaves from the street in front of their houses.

They are not rich but perhaps this is their secret.

This country is filled with music and noise and life. If you cut a Colombian’s arm, music will come out. In the tiendas (little stores that sell everything), on the buses, in the taxis, on the beach, from the boomboxes groups of friends sit around, from the boots of parked cars on Sunday afternoon. It is a place saturated in music.

I often feel like my life has a soundtrack as I walk around on my daily happenings in this city.

The one gift Colombia has given me is contentment. It has re-taught me what I once knew. (I was far more intelligent at 12 than in my 20s).

Life is temporary. At any moment you could be hit by something bigger than you and killed. Especially here!

So enjoy it.
When someone asks you how you are, if you are not replying “Excelente!” it is time to ask yourself why not.

The one thing I will take away from this country is a renewed appreciation for life.

My lungs breathe air and my legs bend whenever I tell them to. I (usually) have food to eat. This already gives me more reason to be happy than a lot of our Earth’s population.

One day I caught a taxi into the historical centre to run errands.
Windows down, and palms beating out the rhythm of salsa on his steering wheel; I looked at my driver’s face. Sea breeze blew into the taxi.

“¿A dónde va mi amor?” he asked me with the chopped coastal Spanish of los costeños.

Where are you going my love?

On the coast they use mi amor (my love), mi reina (my queen) and mi vida (my life). It is something I will dearly miss.

When I asked him how he was he replied “Excelente!” without a second thought.

“Por qué?” I asked.

“Mira,” he said, swinging one hand towards the ocean, “y escucha,” he said, turning up the dial on the salsa.

“La vida es Hermosa.”

(Look…and listen….life is beautiful.)

Cartagena's coastline

Cartagena’s coastline


What Do You Know Of The Desert, Costeño?

 

MOONSCAPE: The northern desert region of Colombia.

MOONSCAPE: The northern desert region of Colombia.

La Guajira.

 

By the time I’d learned to say it correctly I had fallen under its spell.

 

Miles of nothing. Then mountains the colour of Bolivia, and nothing moving save a goat or open-mouthed lizard.

 

Forests of spiked succulents shouting their resilience into a blue dome that gives nothing back – just looks down at the desert with dry, blue eyes.

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It was a total shock to the system after the highly tropical, beach life I’d been living.

 

My two housemates had already made the trek up north, so I was chasing them by a day. It was incredibly fun to be hoofing it on my own. Just me and my work-in-progress Spanish!

 

If you ever find yourself in Cartagena, wanting to get to Colombia’s northern desert region, this is how you do it.

 

Catch bus to Santa Martha (4hrs).

Flag any bus heading north from Santa Martha. Your destination is Riohacha, however you could be dropped in various towns.

Get off where bus drops you (in my case Palomino).

Stand on side of road with local woman, trying to figure out what you are both waiting for.

Ask local tienda (shop) to use bathroom. Response = “Solamente para chi chi.”

Figure out new word. Wee wee = chi chi.

Get in car with woman and pay 4mil to head north to next town.

Get out and wait on road again.

Get on next bus heading north. Stare subtly at woman feeding baby green parrot on lap.

Stare subtly at shoeless, Indigenous Kogi people, clad in white-linen moo-moos. Marvel at their jet-black hair. Feel like you are in a National Geographic episode.

Ask various people where to get off. Get various responses. Practise Spanish with cheeky teenagers. Get called Mona a lot.

Get off at town called Maipaca….or something.

Buy weird chicken thing from children who told you it was vegetarian.

Ask more people. Find expensive buses and search for cheaper option.

Turn down solo male car driver who wants to drive you there for ¼ of usual price.

Stand in what seems to be bus cue. Whole cue leaves without warning.

Bus pulls up from nowhere and collects you only.

Get out at Riohacha.

Find out friends are four more hours to the north in some place called Cabo de la Vela.

Write ‘Cabo de la Vela’ on your arm and crack your second bag of peanuts.

Follow woman with two sons because you here them say a northern town’s name.

Share car-taxi with them.

Watch giant sun slide into horizon. Think of Africa. Learn the secret Spanish talk of two little brothers.

Get off at Uribia. Wind blows, people feel a little wilder. Am I in a frontier town??

Meet some university students and cram into a truck/jeep for a reasonable price.

 

In the jeep we sped through a darkened desert. I was so excited for morning to see what it looked like. Show me your colour, desert.

 

We smelled a dank odour.

 

“Un animal?” I asked my new pals.

“Si,” they confirmed.

 

It smelled like fox to me.

“Es como un pero?” (like a dog?)

“Mmmm….no.”

 

There was a mysterious desert animal out there. Smelling like a fox, but not looking like one. I’d have my eyes peeled for tracks the next day. Not sure what they’d look like. Maybe it flew, and there’d be none.

 

I met Ayumi, a perfectly-cheekboned Japanese girl who had been travelling the world for three years. She had all her stuff in a netting bag. She had two dreadlocks and was cool in that way only Asian travellers could truly rock.

 

I shared my trail mix (con chocolate), remembering that Colombians were a collective society and that meant the whole jeep needed a handful. It was a hit.

 

I accidentally stepped on a puppy in the darkness. I spoke to two desert sisters who were on their way back home to their little desert town, Cabo de la Vela. (I was on the right track, yes!). One wore the beautiful, flowing cotton dress of their region, the other skinny jeans and a singlet top.

 

One of their friends was working the outside of the jeep. Hanging on the back and swinging round to unstrap huge bags of water, backpacks and supplies like onions and toilet paper as we dropped people in the middle of nowhere.

 

We rolled into Cabo an hour or so later.

 

Little town. Hot, dry, with a perfect blue sea lapping the little houses. There was a friendly feel sitting in the back of that darkened jeep, as the guy unloaded everybody with their supplies, said hello and goodbye and swung with grace back onto the jeep.

 

The sisters showed me their bags, hand woven in the La Guajira region by women who had passed down the method for years.

 

“Ciao Lisa,” they called, getting off with their puppy.

“Bienvenidos para café por la mañana.” (Welcome for coffee in the morning.)

Their mama came out and made sure all supplies were in order at the drop off. Not getting your water in the jeep run was a big deal in this part of the country.

 

Eventually we arrived at Glamar, the hostel/restaurant my friends were at.

It had been a long day, and I fell into my hammock with thanks. There were three strung in a row for us, with the sea at our feet.

 

I slept; a desert baby in my bright cocoon.

 

Home for the night. Who needs walls!

Home for the night. Who needs walls!

In the morning we woke to the sounds of Gladis (the owner) and her family having breakfast, a few metres from our hammocks.

 

I had noticed something in this region: the women were calling the shots. Not in an overbearing way, just calmly and with great competency. It was a matriarchal society, and the hisses and catcalls of the southern coast were blissfully missing here! Yahoo.

 

The stunning La Guajira women: all that floating cotton!

The stunning La Guajira women: all that floating cotton!

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The multi-talented Galdis of Cabo de la Vela.

The multi-talented Galdis of Cabo de la Vela.

I watched Galdis juggle a family, a busy restaurant kitchen, diffuse a drunken men’s argument and make us girls feel welcome all at once. It was impressive.

 

We spent a fabulously lazy day. The region was strange on the eye, the red sand a total juxtaposition against jade seas.

 

We hired motorbike drivers for the day and jetted into the blinkless face of the desert. My driver was a young hot-shot who sped up to everything, skidded us through the sand and never listened when I asked him to chill out. He reminded me of me at seventeen.

 

A sign of my age perhaps, that the kind of driving I’d once broken my collarbone with was now making me anxious.

 

Slow down you little punk. Some of us want to see the sunrise tomorrow.

Slow down you little punk. Some of us want to see the sunrise tomorrow.

The drivers would pull up and us girls would explore up hills of cacti. Millions of spikes in brittle grey and khaki-brown pushing themselves up on straightened elbows from the red dust.

 

Against an endless cliff wind we’d push uphill until our breaths were stolen clean away by the stunning view thrown out below us.

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Was there anything so strange and beautiful as a desert meeting the ocean?

 

That night we paid 5mil for a bucket of water and crowded into the small toilet stall to wash. Three white bums, three sets of white boobies – the rest a jumble of brown limbs covered in red dust. A life lived in bikinis for two months!

 

We walked around as the evening chill set in, a welcome visitor in this terrain. We bargained gently with the La Guajira weavers, seeing the work in each of their mochilas, and each bought a stunning bag to remember the trip and the people by.

 

The artisans talk prices.

The artisans talk prices.

That evening the feel of the place changed. All Colombians were now on holiday and those bent of partying flooded into tranquil Cabo.

 

Gladis had her hands full. A fat, drunk man insulted guests at our little ‘hostel’, made jokes about us sharing a hammock with him (blurgh), blared champeta music all night and all morning, and the next morning (to my delight) crashed his car into his other car while drunkenly trying to reverse it at 5am.

 

I told him in the best version of my bad Spanish it was lucky he’d hit his own car not one of the little kids who were staying with the families on holiday here.

 

“You’re not from this land,” he said.

“You’re not from Cabo de la Vela,” I said.

 

After that frustrating dispute, where he still refused to turn the music off (it was now 5am) we decided to walk into the desert and watch the sunrise.

 

Sometimes you just have to walk away.

 

What else does one do at sunrise, with no sleep!

What else does one do at sunrise, with no sleep!

Disused fishing nets sling an odd beauty against the sand.

Disused fishing nets sling an odd beauty against the sand.

On the hunt for the mysterious non-fox.

On the hunt for the mysterious non-fox.

It was truly stunning. It refreshed us, washed the memory of a sleepless night away, and reminded me what beauty there is in the world.

 

I found dog tracks, the tracks of a baby donkey walking beside its mother and, sadly, no trace of the mysterious animal that smelled but not looked like a fox.

 

We caught the next ride we could find out of there, keen to get away from the dank partygoers, and preserve the tranquil memory of the place that had wormed its way into our hearts.

 

This lady from Cabo de la Vela handmade her stunning dress.

This lady from Cabo de la Vela handmade her stunning dress.

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Women floating by in their cotton, flowered dresses, wrapped headscarfs and an easy way of being.

Landscape that looked like the moon. Or Bolivia. Or a Bolivian moon.

Pastels and greys and burnt orange, with hills streaked in purple standing silent in the distance.

 

The shock of red against blue. Cacti forests and prickly pears that stretched on forever.

 

And one sight, which often rises unbidden to my eyelids when I lie in bed after a day’s teaching: the pink petals of a cacti flower, curled outward to reveal the yellow wad of its centre. Adorned with black ants and fresh as linen in that first light of a sweltering desert day.

 

You are magical life. Whenever I die, may it be in nature.

Feast for the soul.

Feast for the soul.

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Vandal-proof fencing, desert style!

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Thank you desert.

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You Gotta Fill Those Reservoirs!

Parque Los Angeles, between Parque Tayrona and Santa Marta.

Parque Los Angeles, between Parque Tayrona and Santa Marta.

This morning we woke up in paradise.

“I feel like I’m hatching from an egg every time I get out of that hammock,” Ash said, struggling free of hers, slung in a line of four.

We ate the oats that hadn’t spilled through my backpack, with water and bananas.

Breakfast of champions. Oats. SIN AZUCAR!

Breakfast of champions. Oats. SIN AZUCAR!

A great part of Colombia is the iguanas you can spot perched in trees.

A great part of Colombia is the iguanas you can spot perched in trees.

We hung around (literally) in hammocks talking smack at our campsite. I relished the energy of these three great ladies.

Ashley- The oldest in our quartet, with some delightful life experience up her sleeve. Running on German time, topped with good humour and utterly settled into herself. Whatever you need she probably has in her backpack. Nail file, sardines, pack of cards. Choosing to really live in Colombia (not just say she did, while only talking to other foreigners)- with a Colombian family in a small town down south, taking Spanish lessons and saying “yes” to most cultural opportunities that come her way. My partner in crime while we learned scuba diving, always up for a dark ale. A proud Newfy. Constantly bemused by Fiona.

Fiona- A Ugandan/Boston glamour with a whacked-out view on the world who makes me laugh at least once an hour. Often times more. Youthful, inquisitive and refreshingly strange. In a word, unique. Looking wistfully into the horizon she will declare, “Logic is the greatest threat to imagination,” before laughing at herself. A total babe, often found posing bikini-clad, with beautiful black skin, against scenes of ocean, coconut trees and bunches of bananas, so every time I glance up I‘m confronted by a postcard. More to her than you first garner – perseverance and enjoyment for life, and some street smarts. Going to live an interesting life.

Meg- The calm energy that flows through our group. Unflappable, caring and with a laid-back Aussie humour that makes me ache for home as though I’d just had Vegemite. Patient as a hunting hawk and far more mature than her age would normally dictate. A real giver and over-packer. Brought more shoes to Colombia than I put in storage at home. A definite island of sanity for me in the wash of loud, strange experiences that is Colombian life. Known to prefer bike or skateboard to feet. Heart of gold.

There's even dishes in the jungle. Sigh.

There’s even dishes in the jungle. Sigh.

Last night we’d built a failing fire on the sand. Green kindling the only at our disposal. Bear Grylls would have shaken his head, then asked his camera-man for some kerosene.

Our fire failed slowly as we spoke Spanglish with three chicos from Bucaramanga. They worked in hospitality, they told us, offering around rum and mandarins. They taught us some cool slang to say to our students, and were impressed we already knew ‘chichipato’.

We had beers and salad for dinner. Like all good athletes.

The next morning I caught the aggressive little waves, scrambling free before they pounded my head into the pebbles and shattered baby shells that made up the beach.

I met Juan Stephen from Medellin who was there with his surfer girlfriend. What a place for romance. He had a nipple pierced and an assortment of random tattoos. Probably the look I’d create for myself if I were a young, Colombian surfer bro. Good on you mate.

I was due to meet my housemates in the desert that evening. Little did I know how many forms of odd transport lay ahead of me.

It was April Fool’s Day.

I tried to text them; “Won’t make it, just jumped off a bus before he’d stopped properly and have broken my ankle. On way to Santa Marta hospital L Battery almost dead. Call later.”

No service. Dammit paradise!
And April Fool’s Day runs out at midday.

Blissed out reservoir filling.

Blissed out reservoir filling.

A beautiful sight. Helping hand when a friend can't swim.

A beautiful sight. Helping hand when a friend can’t swim.

I lay on the beach with Meg. The rainbowed threads of her Mexican blanket mirrored my mood. Amazing what good company can do to the spirits.

Red toenail polish, chipping off, poking through white sand. Blue and white waves biting the coast. Palms and peace and nothing but.

It was perfect here. And perfect doesn’t find you that often in the average week.

A guy was trying to surf in the 3m stretch between the breaking waves and the shore. I hoped he knew what he was doing. They were the kind of waves that enjoy snapping boards and necks.

I scouted out a green coconut, shook it for milk. It sounded just perfect. A hombre at the little juice bar on the sand cracked it for us. Hammering his machete down in expert blows. Ending with all his fingers still attached, sweet coconut water and a stack of the white fruit.

I sat in utter delight munching that white flesh.

Lunch for next month.

Lunch for next month.

A great guy told me something a great girl told him; People have reservoirs. We need to fill these reservoirs up with the good stuff, so we can drink from them in the shitty times.

Two days of the great conversation that female friendships are made up of.

Fiona regaled us with tales of her kingdom and Queen from Uganda. Whose name she didn’t know. We traded ridiculous banter. We talked about how Ash and I had made each other laugh underwater until we had to swim in opposite directions, lest our instructor refuse to certify us for scuba. Meg patiently corrected my Spanish.

I walked out to the road just after 1pm to flag down a bus and begin hoofing it up north to the desert. My reservoirs full to overflowing.

Never put up with bad people in your life. There are too many good ones out there.

Location of paradise: Parque Los Angeles, circa Parque Tayrona, Colombia.

Go there!

Go there!

Missing Ide!

Missing Ide!


Wednesday Night…Out-Of-Body

Levitaatio

A year seemed like a good chunk of time. A chunky chunk. One not to be looked over like six months. Skinny, wishful ‘six months,’ who talked a lot, but who nobody really took seriously.

Well it was only 11 months really. But it was a faraway place and that was the most important part of it all.

In a world where everything seemed to me it had been done before. You could barely conjure an idea without some smug pair of lips babbling how they spent a year doing that very ludicrous thing when they were 22 and had left a long-term relationship.

“While I was living in Nicaragua I was taken in by a one legged healer and his wife. We ate nothing but tomalis and I didn’t check my Facebook for months, that’s right months, at a time. It was a really hard time in my life, and it’s changed me for the better.”

Oh shut it.

It seemed to me at times I had been born too late. We knew it all, we’d tried it all. We had investigated the magic of everything so thoroughly that we had scientifically gotten to the bottom of it. And that is the indisputable best way to kill magic.

Burke and Wills had had the life. Underprepared, unguided; setting into the great unknown to die with urine in their bellies and lips blistered into bubbles like the fine, lifting skin of a dead lizard, swollen under the Australian sun.

Enshrined forever in the glorious doom of the true adventurer.

Now you had to go to more and more extremes to touch foot on virgin trails. You had to buy a motorbike and drive backwards through continents on one wheel, or sell your house on Ebay and move to places nobody had heard of.

Once I read somewhere, “you don’t have to move to India to find yourself.”

I tried to live by this for a little while. Tried to look inside myself, straight through the freckled skin of my chest, past the throbbing little veins that shot blood throughout me, deeper than the clockwork physical, to focus my eyes to persistent green slits and stare into the existential soul of myself.

But in the end it didn’t work, and I decided that maybe I did have to move to India. Only the rapes in India made me cry, and instead of the spiritual heart of that country and stunning landscapes, I thought only of hurt women holding their knees. And my childhood longing to visit evaporated. Poof. Into the Queensland sky.

I decided on Colombia instead, the second friendliest country I had visited.

But I was not a fool. I knew this move alone wouldn’t quiet the mind that whirred at night, a million miles an hour like a plastic windmill stuck in a chain-mail fence. Spinning in glinting pinks and silvers, all that energy expended, yet going nowhere.

I had to do something, I had to challenge myself. With a language, with a culture, with new work and foods and people. But I also had to allow for internal mechanics to loosen, to reform, to rust and take on a new beauty.

I had figured out, finally, a small truth. And it had only taken me 27 years.

It was helped along, as always, by the words of Mary Oliver.

“You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.”

Mary Oliver, Wild Geese

I had only to let my energy unfold. Slow as a green fern unfurling. Gentle and fresh and probing. Or bold as a buffalo calf kicking its way free of the birth sack, and into the arid, dangerous world of the African plains.

I had only to let it be. My will was strong, but my harmony needed the room to move, the chance to stretch out, test itself and perch, balanced, at its rightful equilibrium.

Part letting it be. Part letting conscious decisions guide your trajectory.

Existentialism: “A philosophical theory or approach that emphasises the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will.”


Morning Run Through Steaming Cartagena

CARIBBEAN COLOURS: Cartagena's famous frutadoras set up for the day, chopping papaya, watermelon and mango.

CARIBBEAN COLOURS: Cartagena’s famous frutadoras set up for the day, chopping papaya, watermelon and mango.

I crept quietly from my dorm room, the other girls curled in sleep like kittens.

 

Shoes in hand, I met Laas in the foyer for our 5km run, circumventing the ancient walled city of Cartagena; Centro Historico.

 

FORTIFIED: Cartagena's ancient walls were built to ward off pirate attacks.

FORTIFIED: Cartagena’s ancient walls were built to ward off pirate attacks.

A well-built running partner in South America was a bonus, just in case someone fancied your Ipod.

 

Past fairytale scenes. Pink bougainvillea sprouting from mint-green walls, yellow-washed balconies with sea-blue trimmings. Dark skinned locals in hip-hugging pants chatted as the neighbourhood woke.

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No wonder this was the romantic city. Everything within Cartagena’s old walls was beautiful. The doors were from Colonial times, huge and full of stories.

 

As my sneakers pounded the brickwork I pictured the Spanish invaders, resplendent in red and gold threads, trotting their carriages in through the thick wooden doors, turning in the spacious interior courtyard, the horses steaming heavily in the humidity.

 

“You set the tempo,” came Laas’ Denmark accent, breaking my reverie.

 

‘Get ready to crawl,’ I thought.

 

We kept up a pretty good pace. It was too early for the pony-drawn carriages that now pulled tourists through the pretty streets, and too early for the barrage of taxis.

 

The ornate doorknockers looked down at us. Lions, iguanas, a fish king, even a cockatoo.

COME IN: Can't pretend you're not home with this thing clanking.

COME IN: Can’t pretend you’re not home with this thing clanking.

 

We picked up the pace, jogging through an opening in the historic wall, out to the morning buzz of traffic; Cartagena was yawning.

 

Past a park; a man stretched out on his couch, looking across the sea, and tightened the scrap of rope he used as a belt. Another man rifled through an industrial bin. The stench of urine signalled the bedroom of the homeless.

 

Little waves crashed against the sea wall and palm trees flapped lazily. I looked with disbelief at my new home for a year. Yeah there was highway, but there was also an ancient fortress wall….and a beach.

 

A breeze cooled my neck (a small miracle in Cartagena I am told). This isn’t so bad I thought, just as The Fleet Foxes sung in my ear… lyrics about a wall.

 

Under the yawning canopy of fig trees, dark green and glossy. Here the morning was in full swing. It was 6.45am and already the plantain (big bananas) were being deep fried in heart-stopping oil.

 

 

The recarga (mobile phone credit) vendors were in their usual spots, surveying all with their usual disdain. The ceviche vendors were still tucked in bed somewhere, no doubt with a fan going full bore.

 

There was still a slight choke of car fumes, even at this hour, and it made me miss my morning beach runs on Mooloolaba’s white sands. We truly are spoilt in Australia.

 

We cut back away from the ocean, away from that sea breeze.

 

As we rounded what I hoped was the final corner of the wall I held four fingers up hopefully in Laas’ direction.

 

With a laugh he shook his head and signalled we’d only done 3km. The humidity crept over me like an unwanted friend. Holy hell…..what’s it like to run here at 8am!

 

That night I met up with met a friend for a cerveza (beer) in the square beside the famous clock tower.

 

He was a Colombian gent from Cali (1.5hrs flight south of Cartagena) and worked around Colombia as a tour guide. We sipped and people-watched as he spilled the beans on the city’s secrets.

 

“That square is where the slaves were auctioned,” he said.

 

“And this square here is known as the one of prostitution.”

 

DIFFERENT BY DAY: A lone dog sniffs for scraps around the square that fills with tourists and small groups of sex workers by night.

DIFFERENT BY DAY: A lone dog sniffs for scraps around the square that fills with tourists and small groups of sex workers by night.

It wasn’t long before I saw he was right. Groups of women, subtle in their twos or threes, had begun cutting slow and deliberate laps around the packed square.

 

I had read about the troubling prostitution situation of Cartagena; women who needed the money, drawn to the tourist honeypot of the Old Town.

 

This report by the always on-the-pulse Vice.com, highlights the sad reality of underage exploitation in Cartagena. Bound to happen in the playground of rich foreigners.

 

https://news.vice.com/article/sex-tourism-drives-underage-prostitution-boom-in-cartagena-colombia

 

It was an interesting place. Inside the historic walls people whipped out smartphones for selfies, motorbike taxis were banned from entry – to stop drive by handbag thefts- and there was an atmosphere of charm and frivolity.

CARTAGENA PALETTE: The visual feast that is a walk through Cartagena's old town.

CARTAGENA PALETTE: The visual feast that is a walk through Cartagena’s old town.

 

Cartagena scenes.

Cartagena scenes.

Outside the walls the feeling changed. Life became real again, the buses were hot and crowded, and many lived life in slums, oblivious to the cavorting within the walls.

In my five days in the city I’d seen little of Cartagena’s other faces, save a hot one-hour bus back from one of the furthest centres where volunteers taught English.

 

I’d also ventured into a Centro Commericial (small street mall) for the worst haircut of my life.

 

There were no airs and graces. The lady begrudgingly cut my already short hair, complaining the whole time in Spanish that if she cut anymore off I would be bald.

 

I knew South Americans preferred long hair but I reminded her through gritted teeth that it was my hair, not hers. She grew increasingly annoyed. At one point I had to take the scissors out of her hand and demonstrate how to thin a fringe.

 

She was clearly used to trimming the end from Repunzel locks and calling it a day.

 

“I’m going to charge her 20 for bothering me so much,” she said in Spanish.

 

My friend translated and I was sure to fish out the exact (agreed upon) price of 15,000 for the hack-fest.

 

Despite the gringos in the old city I liked how there were also so many costeños. They occupied amazing ground level apartments behind bright yellow, orange or blue painted walls.

 

In the afternoons costeños cranked up their music, the heady beats of regaeton, cumbia and salsa spinning out into the afternoon heat. They sat out in plastic chairs, the old men often airing their bellies, and threw back tiny espresso shots of tinto.

 

COOL HOOD: Barrio Getsemani is the hip place to wander when a thirst hits you.

COOL HOOD: Barrio Getsemani is the hip place to wander when a thirst hits you.

 

There was a real energy in this city. I was excited for the year ahead.

If only rent wasn’t so damn expensive.


Returning To Colombia, Because It Called

S.A. CALLING: Typical street scenes in Colombia.

S.A. CALLING: Typical street scenes in Colombia.

The Scratchy Side of the States

“Some of the centres you’ll be teaching in will have no resources, so I suggest you bring as much material as you can fit in your luggage.”

These were the scary words of our coordinator for the teaching English program.

‘Great!’ I thought, visions of myself with a half-stick of chalk staring back at a blank class of 30 university students. Gulp!

Three op-shops later I set off to sneak my way through airport baggage weigh-ins, approximately 3kgs overweight with books.

In the blur of small talk, security checkpoints and bad food that is travel I hit my first stroke of fortune……

I was merrily walking around Los Angeles airport, killing time, when a security officer came up to me.

“Are you Lisa?”

“Ah…yeah…how did you know that?”

“Are you missing a laptop?”

“Oh shit!”

To my great luck, the security team had opened the forgotten laptop at the end of the x-ray conveyer belt to discover my spare ream of passport photos.

“My boss said to just go find you,” the grinning security officer said.

She marched me back to security like a trophy.

“How good am I!” she yelled to a team of about seven, who all turned and gave a shout of hooray. How embarrassing.

THANK YOU Los Angeles security people! I wouldn’t be typing this blog without you.

That night I stayed in the tackiest place I have ever been (and I’ve travelled South-East Asia!).

It was called, ironically, Backpackers Paradise, located in dodgy old Inglewood, a suburb not far from the airport.

Tubes of party lights wrapped to the top of palm trees, there was an Egyptian gift shop on one side (the owner told me I’d be worth 100 camels in the old trading), little tables clustered around while people smoked doobs or had pointless arguments about topics they didn’t really know that much about.

The swimming pool reflected back the whole depressing scene.

I chose it for the free airport shuttle and free shuttle to LA’s best beaches. It was just a bed for a night after all.

It was about 11pm. Rude receptionists (“I just wanna get home and watch my shows” “Did you hear what he was telling her that night!?” “Here’s your key…anyway”), a free glass of champagne (gross pink stuff) upon check in, and a room including three women who lived there permanently.

The bartender finished an argument with her boyfriend on the phone before she got around to serving me. She was from Slovenia and a toilet-installer from South Carolina and I spent the next while teaching her words like ‘rekindled’- you need to rekindle your love with you man- and ‘disposition’ – you have a very saucy disposition.

Everyone I met at that place was bizarre. Most of them lived or worked there. I couldn’t wrap my head around this scene being a daily sight.

A guy named Robert walked past with a coke-can bong.

“You’ve gotta watch ya’self round him,” said the toilet-installer.

“I’ll probably be gone in the morning before you’re up, guess I’ll never see you again.”

“Guess not,” I said, wondering what the point of that statement was.

“Yeah I’m from the south,” he continued, as though we’d been talking about it.

“Just a regular old redneck. My work takes me everywhere though, everyone needs a toilet!”

When I walked down the street to buy an adaptor the next day guys yelled “Ooh look what just got in! How you doin? Looking good.”

I replied automatically then stopped very quickly.

The ladies I passed were all nice, and said hello, beaming from under cornrows and buoyant fringes.

Still, I’m glad I stayed there. It showed me a very different side of America to the one I’d seen as a tourist three months ago. This was the side Obama tried to fight for with his healthcare legislation. And boy did it need it.

Cleveland the Cricket Loving Jamaican

On my flight to Bogota I had the pleasure of sitting beside an elderly Jamaican gent.

He was a real gent. He helped pass my stuff across the seat, had a chequered kerchief in his pocket, and tipped his hat and said “shpank-you!” with a hearty laugh whenever he cracked a joke.

Cool frames, a leather cap and the refined manner of an educated man.

“Australia. Now there was a guy killed there from a cricket ball to the throat right?”

“Oh you mean Phil Hughes. To the back of the head while batting, very sad, the whole country was so sad.”

Cleveland was a huge cricket fan. He’d played in Jamaica and spoke with reverence of an Australian fast bowler (name escapes me) the West Indies team faced in the days of Bradman.

“Our first mon, Allan Rae (Jamaican batter, son of Ernest Rae), took da pitch, and ‘e was good.”

“But ‘e ‘it ‘im on da hand!”

“Our second mon took da pitch, and ‘boom!’… ‘it ‘im on da arm.”

“Oooh ‘e was fast!”

Cleveland was one of those people that give me my kick in life. The kind you can sit down with as strangers and leave as friends.

He thought in a few years Colombia would legalise marijuana. He told me how his friend had seen in planted between coffee rows high in the mountains.

“’e said to me, “mon those buds, they leave a tar on yo hands.””

He held out two fingers to show the size of Colombian buds.

Surprisingly it still wasn’t legal in Jamaica. Old Cleveland had never smoked a cigarette in his life, and didn’t smoke pot. But he did have a useful remedy for stomach troubles.

It involved taking some marijuana, putting it in vodka and storing it for a year or more.

“Yo stomach giving you trouble, take a little sip, and mwa!”

He kissed his fingertips in the manner Italians used.

We got to talking about the cancer he’d had.

“Where was it?” I asked.

“In da anus,” he said without blinking.

“Dey told me I have tree to five years, and that was two years ago.”

“I think you’ll live longer,” I said, and meant it.

“You’ve got that spark. Lots of people don’t have that.”

“Thank you. Thank you,” he said with emotion.

He’d lived a great life. He’d schooled in Connecticut, where his parents had also made him learn the dreaded piano.

Like me, he hated the cold (an obvious position for a Jamaican) and moved to California to study business at university.

“Dey gave me money to continue my piano, and I took that money and had a good time!” he chuckled.

He’d been everywhere; Africa, Europe, America, Australia, you name it. He knew the president of Jamaica and would tell him frequently to legalise marijuana so the people could make a better living.

He’s worked as a business consultant at government level and gave me his address to post my first copy of my book to. “Make sure you write it,” he said.

A rasta walked past to use the bathroom.

“See dat guy,” Cleveland said in his too-loud for a plane voice.

“Yeah?” I yelled back (he was slightly deaf).

“’is Dad was the finance minister for Jamaica. ‘E’s a famous musician. You like reggae?”

When the plane landed he called his mate.

“Yeah mon, we landed, but we still on da plane.”

People tried to push past while Cleveland got slowly out of his seat. I blocked them with my large posterior until he was finished and shook his hand goodbye.

You can’t silence paint- Bogota’s Graffiti Movement

The real start to 2015 for me.

Blocks of 5pm light sat in golden fullness on the dormitory wall. A cat on the terracotta roof tiles yowled mournfully into the chilly afternoon. Hello South America. I was back, and it felt wonderful.

Touchdown in Bogota and I had already been ripped off by my taxi driver. The rookie error of not researching how much a trip to your suburb should really cost. Live and learn!

Still, Alejandro had provided me with a good warm up for my Spanish before re-entry into the fast paced world that is Colombia.

Not far from the airport we passed a stunning seven-storey mural of a couple hugging. I was to learn about this the next day.

Alegria’s Hostal (cnr Carrera 2 and Calle 9 in La Candelaria) was all I’d hoped for; quiet, wanker-free, comfy bed with good blankets, and a homely atmosphere with friendly staff.

Vivianna insisted we speak Spanish and told me I could be fluent in 3 months. Ambitious, but possible she said.

She said I’d be a good teacher and laughed at the offer to come to Cartagena and be my Spanish professor.

She pretty much laughed at everything though, so it wasn’t a good measure of how funny you are.

The next day I woke in time to seize the last breakfast croissant and a cup of coffee (many SA hostels have breakfast included). I was happy as a pig in mud, full of good energy and enjoying flying solo for now.

SWINGIN: This shop in La Candelaria, Bogota, has been painted in Cuban style, with a jazz twist.

SWINGIN: This shop in La Candelaria, Bogota, has been painted in Cuban style, with a jazz twist.

I set off for the Bogota Grafiti Tour (sign up here http://bogotagraffiti.com ) just a short walk away.

I’d missed it last time I was in town due to partying with a local who didn’t care to differentiate between night and day.

Running 2.5hrs and costing tips only (20,000 to 30, 000 pesos is courteous) it was the best walking tour I’ve been on.

The Bogota graffiti scene has been around for 20 years, really exploding in the last 10, and solidifying itself as part of the national identity in the last five.

It has a similar concentration of talent in the one city to Sao Paulo or Rio de Janeiro in Brazil.

The flyer given out by our guide Ray stated the importance of graffiti as social commentary and cultural expression during “La Violencia” and the height of Colombia’s ten-year civil war.

“With a growing middle class and a drastically improved political system, modern taggers have removed some of the preach from the paint and continue to focus on creating artwork that showcases their skills rather than on a cause.”

Ray was an artist himself and a general mover and shaker in the Bogota Grafiti World, sourcing commissions for artists and walls for them to showcase their works.

While La Candelaria by night involves a fair amount of hassling from its many (persistent) homeless, it is a true pleasure during the day. Bursting with life and colour, this old historical centre draws tourists just as much for its modern graffiti murals as for its old cobblestoned streets.

First up was Bastardilla, a Bogota woman making her skilful mark in a male-dominated scene.

She draws from poverty, feminie empowerment, the effects of violence, pain and nature.

FINE DETAIL: Here Bastardilla used a rubber cut stamp to create a wheat paste paste-up.

FINE DETAIL: Here Bastardilla used a rubber cut stamp to create a wheat paste paste-up.

WALL OF COLOUR: One of Bastardilla's larger murals serves a brilliant backdrop to children's play equipment.

WALL OF COLOUR: One of Bastardilla’s larger murals serves a brilliant backdrop to children’s play equipment.

Father and son duo Rodez and Nomad also put up some impressive paint. Papa bear prefers to work in arylic. He has more than 30 years experience and has put out more than 60 children’s books.

His work is characterised by abstract line work and multiple eyes.

Keep one of yours open as you traipse around Bogota and Rodez’s presence is not hard to spot. He also has a paints a unique signature on his work, including date, location, time, other collaborators and even the names of passers by.

LOOK OUT: Rodez's work is characterised by multiple eyes.

LOOK OUT: Rodez’s work is characterised by multiple eyes.

SLICE OF TIME: A Rodez signature includes the names of passers by.

SLICE OF TIME: A Rodez signature includes the names of passers by.

His son Nomad prefers spray paint as a medium. A little more expensive but much faster when putting up a large mural.

The two often work together and Rodez is now teaching his younger son.

Bogota’s street artists are now coming out to paint during the day in hopes of making themselves identifiable as artists and removing the stigma of street art as a form of vandalism.

IN THE FAMILY: Nomad, while learning from his father, has developed his own style favouring spray paint.

IN THE FAMILY: Nomad, while learning from his father, has developed his own style favouring spray paint.

Needing mention is street crew Animal Crew Collective (also know as Animal Crew Culture). They have a big presence in Bogota, and you can see their APC tags everywhere in the city.

Venture into the more forgotten suburbs, off the tourist trail of La Candelaria and you will see some of their more extravagant work. They are constantly replenishing their crew, and artists rotating in and out of it.

APC had claimed this wall for some time, but it was recently painted over in green by city authorities.

STREET CREW: Animal Crew Collective is one of the most prominent crews putting up work around Bogota. This wall was recently painted over in the green, visible.

STREET CREW: Animal Crew Collective is one of the most prominent crews putting up work around Bogota. This wall was recently painted over in the green, visible.

Since the artists’ appear more in public Bogota’s public has developed an almost protective nature towards their favourites.

In this beautiful piece by Guache, commissioned by the building owner, you can see white paint on the left of the piece where the police tried to paint over it.

Citizens saw what was happening and rushed out to stop it. The repaint was happening due to no permit being acquired by Guache for the work.

CITIZENS UNITE: The bottom corner shows where authorities attempted to paint over this piece in white, because the artist did not have a permit. Citizens intervened to save it.

CITIZENS UNITE: The bottom corner shows where authorities attempted to paint over this piece in white, because the artist did not have a permit. Citizens intervened to save it.

Not all business owners are so happy to have their walls adorned, however. The owner of The Platypus Hostel was so sick of graffiti that he invested in paint that can simply be gurneyed clean each morning. Expensive, but effective!

A Mexican artist named Pez has coined his own ‘happy style,’ featuring fish (pez in Spanish) and gaining him rapid notoriety as an artist.

This wall was valued at $20-$30,000 US dollars were it to go to auction. Not bad for a guy who started out with a simple ‘pez’ signature that he gradually grew into the happy fish characters pictured.

RISING VALUE: This piece by Mexican artist Pez has an estimated auction value of $US 20,000 - 30,000.

RISING VALUE: This piece by Mexican artist Pez has an estimated auction value of $US 20,000 – 30,000.

Rounding a corner you come to the elegant, Escher-esque tessellating birds of fellow Mexican artist Gilberto Perez.

LET'S TESSELATE: Gilberto Perez brings a little taste of Escher to Bogota.

LET’S TESSELATE: Gilberto Perez brings a little taste of Escher to Bogota.

This piece, artist unknown to me – but tagged with PCK, evokes the ancient spiritual culture of South America through Pacha Mama images (the hands, earth, plants) as well as the use of hummingbirds, known as the messengers of the underworld.

CULTURE DOSE: The spiritual side of South America, captured on its busy streets.

CULTURE DOSE: The spiritual side of South America, captured on its busy streets.

A fun artist to spot around town is Mr Troll. This sculptor/artist places a plastic like material on cookie trays and bakes it in the oven to achieve his bright, hardened wall mounts.

CHEEKY COLOUR: Keep an eye peeled for Mr Troll's quirky works.

CHEEKY COLOUR: Keep an eye peeled for Mr Troll’s quirky works.

SPOTTED: Mr Troll, take two.

SPOTTED: Mr Troll, take two.

Another artist whose works deliver a burst of delight if you happen to look up, out of the ordinary periphery, is a recently deceased paper mache master. Unfortunately our tour guide did not know their name, but their work was some of my favourite around Bogota.

ARTIST UNKNOWN: A paper mache maiden fishes for a banana above eye level.

ARTIST UNKNOWN: A paper mache maiden fishes for a banana above eye level.

Here the shoe shiner’s box doubles as a bird-house. Shoe shiners are one of the common staples around Plaza Bolivar.

STREET CHARACTERS: The sculptures provide a snapshot of life lived on the bustling streets.

STREET CHARACTERS: The sculptures provide a snapshot of life lived on the bustling streets.

A unicycling juggler stands as a monument to Bogota’s large circus and performer culture. Jugglers have in fact performed on this very wall.

BOGOTA DREAMING: Performers, artists and musicians all contribute to the increasing arts scene.

BOGOTA DREAMING: Performers, artists and musicians all contribute to the increasing arts scene.

It is a strange week in Bogota if you don’t see street performers performing tricks in front of traffic for money, or in the La Candelaria plaza.

At the end of my three days of freedom I caught the bus with 150 excited (and exhaustingly chattery) volunteers and headed to our two-week classroom prison. Fourteen days sitting and learning….it had been a while. It required a lot of coffee.

I felt good to be back in South America, and excited about the year ahead. Each day of training gave me further insight into the challenges waiting ahead.

“I had one kid who lit a fire in my classroom,” the lecturer said.

“But it was only a little fire.”

2015 here I come!


A Day of the Semi-Employed Person

I left my blinds open and woke with the sun, lorikeets screeching out their bitchy hierarchy in the gums above my head.

 

I could hear my housemate clanging in the kitchen in that way that early risers do, figuring morning is for waking, and you can sleep when you’re dead.

 

It felt good to rise as nature intended, though it required going to bed at gramps-o’clock.

 

I was splitting my day between matters of personal happiness and annoying, obligatory jobs begging attention before Christmas, so I ate a good breaky of eggs and caffeine. I wouldn’t be back til late afternoon.

 

Last week the fantastic news that I’d received the green light for my Colombia job arrived without fuss in my inbox.

 

“Hi Lisa,

 

You have been accepted to the English Teaching Fellowship to work in Cartagena de Indias.

 

Best,

 

Angela.”

 

Its brevity was great, though a little shocking. I looked up from the couch on my ordinary Tuesday night and let my little heart soar.

 

Then I googled Cartagena.

 

“The jewel of Colombia’s Caribbean coast, with a charming colonial, old city.”

Heck yes. My kite surfing dreams would at last come into fruition.

800px-Cartagena,_Colombia_(5043733874)

Absentmindedly I thought about what to pack for a year in paradise. All I could think of was bikinis and my favourite pen.

 

I hoped I could track down somewhere safe to live, that didn’t cost too much. I wanted to spend most of my monthly stipend on Spanish lessons, attending theatres and scuba diving.

Ready for one bad Aussie surfer to hit its shores.

Ready for one bad Aussie surfer to hit its shores.

 

I would be teaching English to the poorer people of the nation (all ages), and would be well out of my depth for the first couple of months at least.

 

That week I bounced around. Someone could have pelted me with eggs as I rode to work and I wouldn’t have minded. I had a secret and it was a good one.

 

I knew I’d be in for a pretty tough year, but I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into it.

 

For now, reality beckoned.

 

I packed my laptop, an apple and some water and pedaled off to my psychologist appointment. I looked harder than normal at our fabulous Aussie trees. I wouldn’t be seeing them for a while.

 

I’d decided to deal with some stuff that had been getting me down. As a naturally happy person I woke up one day realising I had lost some of that somewhere along the way.

 

It was time to delve into that mental back drawer that most of us spend our lives ignoring.

 

I had been recommended to an amazing, professional woman who spoke the language of the heart, through the tongue of the brain.

 

Sharp as a tack, passionate and sensibly analytical she was just the kind of person I needed to shine my reflection back at me.

 

I cannot recommend seeing a psychologist highly enough if there is something troubling you. I think we should see them as frequently as dentists to be honest. Probably more.

 

It was an hour’s appointment and I left with that satisfied feeling you get when you fish a grape out from under the refrigerator. Dealing with something that had been out of sight, out of mind, and would just have festered.

 

Mental health: The most important kind.

Mental health: The most important kind.

I had a letter to write to someone important in my life, so called into an op-shop to buy the cute vintage writing paper such an occasion demanded.

 

On my way out I spotted a sex shop. I hadn’t been into one since college days, when we would leave notes on the cork ‘meeting board’ up the back saying “looking for open-minded orgy companions, call me” and signed off with out friend’s number. Haha!

 

“Morning,” said the young male behind the counter a little too brightly.

 

I was somewhat ambushed.

 

He sprung up like an erection.

 

“Can I help you with something?”

 

“Um, I was just walking past and thought I’d look,” I replied.

 

Ha. Bet he hears that one a lot.

 

I walked towards the nearest shelf, which of course was a beautifully arranged display of vibrators. One had bunny ears on the business head, obviously designed by somebody not in possession of a vagina.

 

“They’re great,” said the vagina-less man.

Naughty-Bunny-Vibrator-7-function-vibrating-rabbit-egg-female-sex-vibrator-clitoris-stimulator

“What size are you looking for?”

“We’ve got a great range of realistic ones,” he said, sweeping an arm in the direction of the well-endowed shelf.

 

“Or these little ones are great for travelling, and super quiet,” he continued, putting a buzzing one into my hand.

 

It was all a little amusing; I relished impromptu experiences like this.

 

Things became a little awkward when he started a paragraph-like (though very informative) description of the benefits of clitoral versus penetration options.

 

I didn’t want to interrupt him, but the buzzing in my hand was becoming a little strange to hold, and I didn’t know how to turn it off.

 

The button would have to be on the erm…dry end I reasoned, as he chatted away. Close but no cigar.

 

When he’d stopped talking I handed the small instrument back, and he shut it off like a pro. He would make some girl very happy one day, with or without battery-operated help!

 

“Well, thank you,” I said sincerely.

“You really know your stuff. I might pop back on the weekend.”

 

When I’d left I thought of a hundred great puns I could have used. Dammit!

 

“Great G-spot you’ve got here, it’s got a real buzz about it.”

“Been open long or short?”

“I’ll just go out the same way I came in.”

 

I made my way to my favourite Mooloolaba Café, Envy. I’d done a trial here a while ago and the atmosphere was so relaxed it felt like you were hanging out at a friend’s place.

 

Sometimes it was hard to identify the actual staff, as they floated by with the urgency of a Bolivian storekeeper.

 

Like most places on the coast it was overpriced, but I paid my $5.50 for a mug of flat white made on almond milk (YUM) and pulled up a pew.

 

Don't trust people without a little addiction in their lives.

Don’t trust people without a little addiction in their lives.

I wrote a six-page letter. Pausing to laugh, cry and sometimes look up to catch the approving glance of an elderly person who thought the art of pen to paper had long been killed-off by our generation.

 

It was $5.50 well spent; good tunes kept rolling, the coffee was excellent and no annoyingly bright waitresses bugged you like on the esplanade.

 

I had forgotten the pleasure of writing a letter rather than an email. The slow pace of penmanship forces you to think about each sentence properly before you blurt it (something I am direly missing in conversation.) It was a great cure for my ever-present foot-in-mouth disease.

 

I popped it in the post box across the road, like sending off an old friend on the train, and went to finish my Christmas shopping. As usual I bought one for them and one for me…..the only way to get through the drollness of Christmas shopping.

 

As I paid with cash I shouldn’t be spending a warning rumble of thunder sounded.

 

I peered up into a menacing sky, got on my bike and prepared to race nature. The sky darkened with a smirk as I waited for the lights to change.

 

I could feel the air changing in that way it does when it is about to absolutely piss down.

 

Oh boy.

 

I had gift-wrapped presents dangling from my handlebars and my laptop in my backpack. It was on.

 

Green light, I gunned it across Venning St, the sky rumbling smugly overhead. I must look like a tiny ant running home.

 

As I sped past Ocean View Av the drops started coming. What Forest Gump would call “Big ol’ fat rain.”

 

Much needed droplets beat down.

Much needed droplets beat down.

No!! I pumped my stumpy legs faster, feeling the burn. This is what Lance Armstrong must have felt on those ferocious hills during the Tour de France.

 

Oh, that’s right, he had drugs helping him. Lucky bugger.

 

More drops, my sunglasses ran rivers.

 

I thought about sheltering under someone’s garage but it looked like the kind of rain that would set in for a good hour.

 

I was only a few blocks from home, and I’ve always enjoyed a challenge. I kicked my steel steed into racing gear, and put my head down as though on the velodrome.

 

Racing speed on my bike was similar to that attained by a nanna on a slight downhill slope. As I passed the beckoning shelter of the local fish and chip shop, I knew I’d made a rookie error.

 

One street from home and the heavens opened.

 

I could imagine them up there (whoever they were) yelling, “Get her! Drown the little ant! It wore a yellow shirt today, how silly of it!”

 

I arrived home transparent and delighted with the adrenalin of it all. One present to re-wrap.

 

Nature: 1 Lisa: 0

Nature: 1
Lisa: 0

The rain kept coming down, soothing and beautiful, soaking into the thirsty coastline.

 

I put on Double J in the background and prepped dinner while the thunder belted its way across the sky.

 

Is there anything as good as a stormy day when you’re not at work!


There’s Gotta Be More To Life

I recall many summers, gazing out my classroom window, stuck to the little brown chair with sweat, watching magpies pull grubs from their safe places on the lawn.

You lose grub.

You lose grub.

It was so hot the air seemed to buzz, a languid drawl against my 12-year-old ear drums. I tried to focus through the audio-haze on my teacher’s voice.

“Who can tell me why the Aborigines didn’t want the new settlers to build houses in Australia?”

Ha. What a can of worms that one was.

The clearest thought I remember, however – because it has never truly gone away – is: “There’s got to be more to life than this.”

Even at that young age I was not wholly satisfied with the options being served before me.

That thought roars loud as as a Harley through the channels of my brain. I think of it as I brush my teeth, run on the road, check my emails, dive deep under water, wash the dishes.

We get up, live our lives for a day and then sleep, only to do it all over again.

When we are young we have wild and wonderful variations of this, but ultimately for most people, it is too difficult to maintain a life against the grain. All that swimming upstream is exhausting. And we eventually succumb to a doldrum existence.

This is not the case for everybody. And finding those sorts of people is the inspiration that can change your own life. Through inspiring you to change it yourself.

Today I finally watched the second Australian Story (ABC – excellent program) on Aussie Tara Winkler. Do yourself a favour and view the link.

This woman, aged just 22 at the time, pulled 14 kids from an abusive and corrupt orphanage and set up a better one for them. She then realised orphanages weren’t the answer and embarked on an over-abitious project to turn her efforts into an NGO instead, that places kids with families and puts on programs from karate to schooling.

And she pulled it off.

She didn’t just complete a token ‘kid rescue’ to save 14 children and stop there. She looked at the systemic failings of childcare in the country and tackled the problem with vision.

As I watched her story I cried and laughed at several points. I have always had a big heart and in recent years grown increasingly frustrated by not knowing what to do with my pent up will to help, desire to use my brain, do work I love and find something ‘more to life than this.’

Over the last year I’ve felt a pull towards the NGO sector. I love journalism, but I want my years on this spinning ball of rock to mean something at the end of it all. For me journalism is fulfilling, vitally important for a fair and open society and hard, brain stimulating work.

But there is a part of me that hasn’t been allowed to stretch its legs.

As I sat at my computer in Mooloolaba, on one of the Sunshine Coast’s lifeless, overcast days, I was struck like a gong by a long-overdue realisation of what I wanted to do with my life. Mostly epiphanies sneak up on you and hit you full in the face to announce their presence.

Tara’s story made me proud of a stranger, meditate on the beauty of romance in whatever form it comes, remember that we all have strength and should blaze ahead with our plans regardless of the doubters, who will never risk or achieve anything grand.

I took a photo of my puffy, red face to use as motivation in years to come if my mission got tough.

When love for humanity leaks out your eyes.

lisa cry2

I made a list of the skills I possessed at that exact point in time.

1) Good at talking to people and engaging them to share their story with me.
2) Resourceful. Can enter most places with or without consent of security. Possibility to apply this in professional/legal capacity.
3) Good with kids.
4) Horses trust me.
5) Fast, efficient writer.
6) Good creative writer.
7) Good at having ideas. Not so good on follow through. Working on it.
8) Handy with a camera and video camera.
9) Excellent at finding hidden corners of cities.
10) Good networker. Good at deciphering jargon. Good at rewriting jargon to normal speak.
11) Good at cheering people up. Highly empathetic.
12) Good at climbing.

It was a mixed bag. I felt with these as my specialties I could live a fulfilling life, without crusting over.

Spurned on by a desire to make up for lost time, I applied for two positions with NGOs. One in Cambodia, one in Colombia.

I felt this life clarity was a little late, but better late than never.

The miserable day looked down on me miserably. So much for my planned swim today.

While I was thinking of all the exciting options that lay before me, and the mountain of work it would take to get to where I wanted to be, I was aware of one thing.

I would have to look at this not as some phase, but as a way of life. A way of looking at life. If I had a bambino in Colombia while helping set up a domestic violence education program it would be no big deal. My kid would grow up speaking Spanish and English and we’d swim in the water together and watch whales play during their breeding season.

If I didn’t achieve the lofty journalism heights I had planned by 30 I would just have to relax and accept that life works out, partially through your actions as the liver and partially through circumstances out of your control.

I felt I had gained something and let go of something all in one morning. It was mentally refreshing and spiritually uplifting. It reminded me life was good.

I felt like I’d just taken the mental component of who I was through the car wash, to emerge a little better, and ready to wear another ten thousand bugs to the windscreen.

A bug's life.

A bug’s life.

I returned to my Spanish study, frequently pausing the CD to decipher the curly and confusing language that the tutor demanded from me.

The horizon looked challenging, but it looked really good too.